When I was little we had an American term called Indian Giver. An Indian Giver is described in part as a person who gives a gift and later wants it back. The idea is that once you give someone something it belongs to them fully and completely. I surrendered my life fully to God some time ago, or at least I professed to. However, lately it seems I have taken I back. How many of us have ever been Indian Givers with God?  I gave God my job, my relationships, and my desires only to decide that it is better in my hands. I’m sure if I were capable of fixing the problems in my life, or solving the mysteries of it I wouldn’t have cause to be concerned in the first place.

When I began reflecting on why I obsess over certain details of my life and have anxiety over others, I realized that it is a control issue for me. I give control of my life to God in a moment, and take it all back when I become uncertain. It is so difficult to let go of the reins and allow someone else be in control.  However, when we surrendered our life to God that is essentially what we did. We gave it all up to him. We said yes, but if we give our lives and then take it back or only give a part of it then have we really said yes? Have we really given it all?

Proverbs 16:9 says “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the lord establishes their steps.”  This could not be more true. We plan out the details of our life because It makes us feel better, but that is all it does.  The fact is we can’t control the future and we can’t know everything. How can you control something and you don’t know what the plan is? You can’t. Giving God control and then taking it back is pointless. However, we can choose to seek God for his guidance instead of always seeking him for the answers.  It is on the journey to the answer that we really get to know God intimately. We learn that he goes before us to show us the path and instruct us. Only God can ever have complete control. The best plan we can have is to follow God, all other plans are worthless. We have to trust that on the other side of it all Gods best is waiting for us.  We worry because we don’t know the outcome, but when has God’s outcome ever been bad for us? We can trust that when we gave our lives to God we did the best we could have ever done.

I am a lover of wild animals in their habitat. I don’t want to be too close but I can’t help but admire them from far away. I often watch Animal Planet because I love the documentaries they produce of animals in the wild surviving and thriving. On many occasions I have watched a lion pride hunt wildebeest and the story usually ends badly for at least one of them. The typically story is this- The wildebeest is typically drinking water, eating or doing something that causes it to be distracted. Meanwhile, the lioness is walking around looking for that one unsuspecting wildebeest to become their next meal.  Typically, the lioness will crawl for a period of time to get close enough to the animal. The crawling is in an effort to be lower to the ground or to blend into the tall grass so as not to be recognized by the prey. When they are spotted by the animal or they are close enough to it, they break into a full out run and usually by that point it is often too late for the animal to escape.

1 Peter 5:8 reads “Be self-controlled, and alert, your enemy the devil prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour.” I’m sure if wildebeest could read they would have appreciated this very literal warning that the bible gives about the lion. We however, will apply it metaphorically to our lives.  The bible calls us to be self- controlled. God wants us to manage our actions, feelings and emotions. It’s easy to be led by how you feel about things and to react out of those feelings instead of the word of God. The Bible also calls us to be alert. The definition of alert is quick to notice any unusual and potentially dangerous or difficult circumstances. If the Wildebeest had been more alert in any of those situations where it was being hunted, it might possibly still be alive. It is the same in our life. When we let our guard down and think for one moment that the devil is not after us that is the beginning of our demise. The lion in this case is obviously the devil. His only job is to destroy everything that God has made.

We must always pray to be aware of the devil and his tricks and schemes. Don't sleep on the enemy. Sometimes he uses other people and we must be discerning in those situations. The devil appears in many forms, it may be in the form of an argument with our spouse or significant other or a disagreement with a parent. Oftentimes when the argument is over we realize that we only had half the facts anyway. We only see things from our perspective and that is just what the devil wants.

He is counting on you to believe the negative things that he has said. He is depending on you becoming so distracted that you don’t see your relationships falling apart. The Devil by the bible’s definition is a liar (John 8:44) so whenever something happens that doesn’t reflect God’s character, know that the devil is behind it. Be aware and alert so that you can be successful against the enemy. 

I was approached by a very nice man the other day and after we spoke for a while he asked me to lunch. I agreed and we made plans to see each other. A few days later we spoke again, during our conversation he shared that he believed that God was a possibility. Immediately red flags went up in my mind. I knew at that point there would not be any need for lunch.

People often say to me maybe you can work with him or try to bring him to God. My response to them is always “No, I am not Jesus and I can’t save anybody.” I cringe when I hear about Christian women dating men who have either 1) no relationship with God at all or 2) A relationship in theory (meaning he believes God exists and goes to church occasionally, but his life doesn't reflect that he knows God) because that is a recipe for heartbreak, frustration and failure.

When you date a man that doesn’t serve the God you serve he won’t subscribe to the same things you believe in. My relationship with God is a lifestyle. I try to filter every decision I make through that lens. If I date a man who doesn’t have that same filter the way we see things will always be different. His perception is colored by his own personal beliefs and mine is colored by God. When two people of totally different backgrounds and experiences come together the one thing that unites/bonds them is their mutual love for God. Without it every person is left to go their own way.  The stressors of this world will pull your relationship apart if you don’t have God at the center.

You have to walk in the way of God and let go of anything or anyone that doesn’t walk that same way. It may seem new and exciting at the beginning. You are extra patient with them because you want to help them, but in the end it becomes difficult and you begin dragging them to church and nagging them about God. When God is the biggest part of your life and you can’t/don’t share that with your significant other then it affects the intimacy between the two of you. When I get married I want to be able to share everything with my spouse and if I can’t share the most important thing, then what is the point?

There is a reason that the Bible says “Can two walk together unless they agree?” A house divided cannot stand. If you don’t believe me look at how many people get divorced over differences in their marriage. This does not mean that the person you date should be exactly like you. However, they should strive to be like God and if you’re doing the same thing then in all the ways that count, they will be a mirror reflection of you.