Unequally Yoked

I was approached by a very nice man the other day and after we spoke for a while he asked me to lunch. I agreed and we made plans to see each other. A few days later we spoke again, during our conversation he shared that he believed that God was a possibility. Immediately red flags went up in my mind. I knew at that point there would not be any need for lunch.

People often say to me maybe you can work with him or try to bring him to God. My response to them is always “No, I am not Jesus and I can’t save anybody.” I cringe when I hear about Christian women dating men who have either 1) no relationship with God at all or 2) A relationship in theory (meaning he believes God exists and goes to church occasionally, but his life doesn't reflect that he knows God) because that is a recipe for heartbreak, frustration and failure.

When you date a man that doesn’t serve the God you serve he won’t subscribe to the same things you believe in. My relationship with God is a lifestyle. I try to filter every decision I make through that lens. If I date a man who doesn’t have that same filter the way we see things will always be different. His perception is colored by his own personal beliefs and mine is colored by God. When two people of totally different backgrounds and experiences come together the one thing that unites/bonds them is their mutual love for God. Without it every person is left to go their own way.  The stressors of this world will pull your relationship apart if you don’t have God at the center.

You have to walk in the way of God and let go of anything or anyone that doesn’t walk that same way. It may seem new and exciting at the beginning. You are extra patient with them because you want to help them, but in the end it becomes difficult and you begin dragging them to church and nagging them about God. When God is the biggest part of your life and you can’t/don’t share that with your significant other then it affects the intimacy between the two of you. When I get married I want to be able to share everything with my spouse and if I can’t share the most important thing, then what is the point?

There is a reason that the Bible says “Can two walk together unless they agree?” A house divided cannot stand. If you don’t believe me look at how many people get divorced over differences in their marriage. This does not mean that the person you date should be exactly like you. However, they should strive to be like God and if you’re doing the same thing then in all the ways that count, they will be a mirror reflection of you.