Recreational Dating
A friend asked me the other day, “Do you think you can casually date? Can you just date someone to keep you company until the right one comes along?” You absolutely can. You can do a lot of things. The better question is why would you? If you really believe, like I do, that God has a husband that is specifically designed and assigned to you, then why would you want to waste your time developing a human bookmark? As you explore God’s perfect purpose and plan for your life, any man other than your husband should not be an extended part of it. Ultimately, I want God’s will for my life and I do not want to risk derailing my future for anyone. I don’t want to get wrapped up or attached to anyone that I am not assigned to by God. I don’t have the time, energy or effort to deliberately or non-purposefully give to another man that is not my husband.
As women, we are emotionally driven creatures. Typically we can’t talk to or casually date men and not develop feelings. We begin to like men and eventually were in love and ready to commit to a relationship that was only intended to pass the time while waiting on the right one. Before you know it you’re stuck in a relationship with a person God never intended for you to be with; You’re dating a guy who doesn’t respect and value you. So by the time you get out of that relationship your self-esteem is greatly diminished. As a result, you then put up walls preventing the right man from really loving you. Then you want to guard your heart. You have trust issues that you have now left your husband to deal with. All because you dated someone “in the meantime.” But at what cost? Yes, it’s true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger; but, it also leaves scars. Now you’re taking extra baggage into your marriage and expecting your husband to help you carry it.
In the meantime, casual dating turns into longtime dating. You are wasting all this time that God has given you to prepare for your husband by being in a relationship with someone that is probably not helping you get any closer to that goal. In fact, dating random people may lengthen the process of you being joined to your husband because there has been very little attention given to genuine preparation. Now God has to undo whatever damage you have done in your relationship and realign your perspective with his. In Proverbs 4:23 the Bible states, keep your hearts with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life.” The time to guard your heart is before you meet your husband, not after you have been ruined by all the men you dated previously. If you have already been through some heartache know that God is a mender of broken hearts and you can trust him to repair the damage.
Recreational dating without purpose is so much more harmful than we know. 1) It may interrupt Gods plan for your life, if it is not in his will. 2) It may damage you in the process. 3) It takes you off the market so when the right one comes along you’re not available to date him. Don’t date a random guy just to keep you company. You may end up missing your blessing. No man that you are casually dating now (if he is not sent from God) is worth trading the husband that God designed and assigned for you. When God’s best for your life arrives, you will be glad you didn’t bother with anyone else!