Alone But Not Lonely

Do you know what it is to be amongst a crowd of people and feel lonely? Have you ever gone to an event with people you know and still felt alone? I remember experiencing this feeling firsthand in my Christian walk. It’s a fact, that when a person begins to grow in God, he or she grows apart from people and situations that are not like Him. For me, as I grew in my faith, I began to notice that there were certain people I no longer enjoyed spending time with and activities I didn’t take pleasure in doing anymore.  Still, while I was happy with the growth I was experiencing in my life, I came to understand that “elevation comes with separation.”  Suddenly, I understood what older Christians meant when they explained how their circle of friends decreased as their walk with God increased. It’s because God often creates an atmosphere for growth by setting His elect apart from the crowd.

Nonetheless, as my circle of friends grew smaller I began to experience specific bouts of loneliness. Initially, this was difficult. However, I soon realized that in being set apart there are sometimes when you will have to walk alone. Everyone can’t or won’t understand the things that God is doing in your life. They’ll unknowingly speak against what God is doing and indirectly cause you to doubt it. This is why God sometimes just wants you all by yourself. When you are going through a period of preparation and pruning, you don’t need interference from the world. For example, in Matthew 16:21-23 NIV, Jesus explained to his disciples that he would be killed and subsequently be raised from the dead. But Peter, loving Jesus the way he did, couldn’t fathom a life separated from him. So he tried to discourage Jesus from going to the cross, even though it was what God called him to do.

While Peter’s actions were noble, however, Jesus used this moment to teach him (and us as believers) that any mindset or action that does not align with the Lord’s will indirectly encourages disobedience to God. Jesus said to Peter “You do not have in mind the concerns of God but merely the concerns of man.” In terms of the big picture, Jesus knew the importance of tuning out others and both listening for and pressing into what God (and only God) was saying. It is important to understand that sometimes Isolation from the world creates intimacy with God. Jesus was clear on what God was calling him to do because he spent consistent quiet time with God. Jesus’ commitment to commune with God preserved him from the high and low despairs of loneliness. This should be our experience as well; not a walk of perfection, but one wherein we receive the grace to live as God has called us to do.

Will you experience loneliness? Yes, but it is only a passing feeling. When put into proper perspective, you will see that it is not a situation where you no longer have friends. Rather, it’s a season where God is simply moving others out of the way so that He can make room for Himself. Don’t fight isolation. Be willing to be set apart for a time. There will come a day where you will have many friends. Yet, the opportunity to spend time with God must be seized when it is sent. Isaiah 55:6 declares, “Seek God while he may be found, call on Him while He is near.” Let God be your best friend. Share with Him all the things that you would be excited to tell someone else. I assure you that in this time God is perfecting you for His purpose so that you can be set apart for the plans He has for you. Remember, when you endure loneliness because no one else is around, you are in good company; many Believers have been called to do the same. Walking alone is not the same as loneliness. Know the difference.