Why Do We Stay in Broken Relationships?

Why do we stay in broken relationships? Is it our fear of being alone? Concerns about what other people will think when they see we are not the perfect couple? Do we feel like we will never find anybody else to love us? I was in a broken relationship and after I finally ended it I really had to think about why I stayed as long as I did. As I began to reflect I discovered that there were a lot of different reasons. Despite the constant arguing, the frustration, and the loneliness I was comfortable in my relationship. It was familiar and I had a routine. My dysfunction became normal to me. I also told myself I wouldn’t find anybody else that had what he had. Those were lies.  All of them.  When I really examined It, I stayed all that time because of a bunch of lies I told myself.  When I discovered the truth it set me free.

The truth is that God’s perfect plan has is not lacking. God is not a God that can provide for every other area of my life and fail me in my relationships. God has never given me anything that was broken that he didn’t give me the grace to deal with. If I had known God then the way I do now I would have known that Jesus came to make me whole and not leave me broken. God would not pick a relationship for me that kept me constantly stressed. He knows how to pick a relationship that is good for me in the present and the future.

God’s best is an earthly relationship that reflects his heavenly love for you. It is the kind of relationship where a man honors you not just in word but in his actions. It is a relationship of protection and provision. It is a relationship where respect is mutual. It is the kind of love that you can’t earn but is freely given.  When you do make a mistake it is the type of love that covers it and forgives. If your earthly relationship doesn’t reflect God’s love then you may need to reevaluate it. When I began to really know God, his love showed me that the love I thought I was holding on to- I never really had.

I have seen God protect me literally from car accidents that could have seriously injured or killed me. I have seen him provide for me financially in the form of reduced bills and raises. When I make a mistake God gently corrects me, but never condemns me. I have seen him continue to love me even though I’m undeserving. I know what God’s love looks like and while no man will be perfect this will be his standard. He must strive to love me the way God does.  God’s love makes me whole and the only logical reason that I can find as to why I stayed in a broken relationship is because I  didn’t know what a whole and complete love felt like.

If we stay in broken relationships because we want to be loved, then perhaps we don’t know true love, because if we did we would know the one who gives it and we would never settle for anything less.