The Standard

There is a saying, “The standards we set for our lives are the ones that will be met; if we aim low we cannot expect to get much.” This idea is especially true in the area of relationships. As single Christian women striving to be set apart for God’s use and divine purpose, if we settle for a man who is not wholly devoted to God then we can rest assured that the level of life we aspire for in God will be challenged. The quality of the relationship may eventually become severely diminished because it will most likely be rooted in the flesh, not the Spirit and follow standards of the world; not of God. A perfect example of this is BET’s drama series, “Being Mary Jane” starring Gabrielle Union. Generally speaking, I think a lot of single women feel as though they relate to, or see some part of their selves in Mary Jane. Mary Jane is an independent, aspiring woman seeking love. We see Mary Jane manage a demanding career, struggle with familial relationships, and pursue love-interests. Unfortunately, what we don’t see a lot of is Mary Jane’s relationship with God. Instead, to her personal detriment, she floats in and out of sexual relationships with men that are not her husband-usually because they are someone else’s. Ladies, this is not how God intended for us to meet, date or get married!

The best way to get all that we are looking for and all God has promised us is to do it His way. What we don’t want is to have the story of our life read like the script of “Being Mary Jane” a woman who has it all professionally, but is in personal poverty. She lacks someone who will love her unconditionally and put her needs first; someone who knows her intimately and not just someone who wants to be intimate. As “set-apart” women, we need a relationship first and foremost with God. We need to live a life opposite of Mary Jane. One where we guard our hearts and our beds. We need to seek God first and let Him prepare our hearts and minds for the mate He chooses. Then, when He brings him we will be ready to receive him.  Not only can we be sure that it will be right, but we will be richly rewarded and spared unnecessary heartache along the way. Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” Simply put, “righteousness” is the right way of doing things-God’s way! God’s plan for your life is designed specifically for you. He knows the end from the beginning. You do not have to question His intentions for your life because He lays them out very clearly for you in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” God loves you more intimately than the best man ever will.

Many women, including God’s daughters, make the same common mistake. Somewhere along the way we began to believe that we are not complete without a man; that we must resort to finding love by any means necessary. So we, like Mary Jane, sleep with men who are married and put up with men who are not ready to commit. We need to remind ourselves that the only person we can’t live without is God! Everything and everyone else is secondary; and, the sooner we realize this, the sooner we will learn to find ourselves in God and let Him complete us. Then, we won’t settle for men who are unfaithful or who don’t value us. If your life looks a lot like Mary Jane’s, consider surrendering your love ambitions to God. He can be trusted to give us His very best. Roman 8:32 says, “He who did not spare is own son but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him give us all things?”  God wants to give us everything He’s prepared for us. The question is, “Are we prepared to receive it?